When I was your age

It was a sunny day in early December in southern Louisiana and our trailer home was filling up fast as my mom's family came in to greet a little 9 year old girl on her birthday. That 9 year old was me.  I was anticipating receiving my gifts, most especially my baby doll that had gone unwrapped and I had been anxiously eyeballing everyday up to the day of my birthday party.

I remember I'd go into my parents bedroom and stare at the unopened, unwrapped, beautiful blonde haired baby doll with a small wardrobe consisting of around 6 outfits. I couldn't wait to remove her from her box  and change her dresses and shoes. I did not care about the cake or the other presents. I just wanted that doll.

Finally the day had arrived and I was impatiently awaiting the moment that mattered most: GIFT TIME!!
We ate cake, we sang the song, now it was time to get the doll.  The only other important thing at that party in my eyes, was my cool cousin that was younger than me yet somehow more stylish, smarter, prettier and everything. I wanted to be like her. I saw myself as lame, and goofy. I still see myself that way, kind of lame and goofy.

I  set aside my doll and played with my cousin when all of a sudden she said something hurtful to me. For the life of me I cannot remember the context of the conversation. But she said something to me that hurt my feelings so badly I ran to my room and started crying on my bed. She just mocked me and left my room.
I put my walkman tape player on my head and listened to my 60s cassette tape which had "Its my party" on it.
I played it over and over and sang it over and over.

Then my aunt came in and told me a story that started with "When I was your age"
And thats how I knew she was old.

In my head "Only old people" said phrases like "When I was your age" or "Back in my day"

I listened to her story and I eventually cheered up and got over myself.

The point of all that was to say this:
I was talking online to a kid from my church. He seems young  to me even though our age gap is only 9 years. I was crying on my bed about some cruel words said to me by my younger cousin....when this "kid" was still a nursing infant...
And you know what I said to him during our chat?
"When I was your age"
Ladies and gentlemen when you can say that phrase and mean it
You're old.

Here I come retirement home. Someone hand me my senior card so I can get the discount food at Dennys.
I'm CHECKING OUT!